Patrick Gale: A Place Called Winter

Most outcasts banish themselves.

(Dr Gideon Ormshaw as quoted by Little Bear / Ursula, p 187)

Much as I'd like to deny it, and whether true or not about 'most', this does apply to me. I could have remained a closet gay; I could have become a part of the gay 'community'; I could have remained primarily interested in the country of my birth; I could have done more effort to stay in the country of my heart; and so forth and so on.

Then again, I only regret about half the cases. I do regret those that were a result of my wimpiness; I don't regret those that were a result of my individualism. It's obviously best to really belong; it's a lesser evil not to belong at all, than to belong outwardly where one doesn't belong inwardly.

 

 

 

Mark Haddon: The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time

ALL THE OTHER children at my school are stupid. Except I’m not meant to call them stupid, even though this is what they are. I’m meant to say that they have learning difficulties or that they have special needs. But this is stupid because everyone has learning difficulties because learning to speak French or understanding Relativity is difficult, and also everyone has special needs, like Father who has to carry a little packet of artificial sweetening tablets around with him to put in his coffee to stop him getting fat, or Mrs Peters who wears a beige-coloured hearing aid, or Siobhan who has glasses so thick that they give you a headache if you borrow them, and none of these people are Special Needs, even if they have special needs.

But Siobhan said we have to use those words because people used to call children like the children at school spaz and crip and mong which were nasty words. But that is stupid too because sometimes the children from the school down the road see us in the street when we’re getting off the bus and they shout, ‘Special Needs! Special Needs!’ But I don’t take any notice because I don’t listen to what other people say and only sticks and stones can break my bones.

(Christopher John Francis Boone (narrator), p 43)

 

This is exactly why I tend to mentally wince when I hear people (who often don't even belong to the particular targeted minority) claim that such-and-such word should never be said, because it's offensive, as it were, by definition. I have friends who use words like faggot or poofter and it's all right because they don't mean it nastily; there are many more people who would never dream of using these expressions, yet are latent homophobes for all that. (Some of them are not even latent, except perhaps to themselves.)

I remember a real-life example similar to the one in the quote: years ago, where I lived the word 'Gipsy' was a perfectly neutral expression; if one wanted to be offensive, there were many other words to choose from. But as the majority population on the whole hated the Gipsies and only talked about them disparagingly, some activists (many of them 'white') decided that 'Gipsy' was an offensive word in itself and decent folk must use 'Roma' instead. The result? Ten years later most people said 'Roma' ... and most said it with a sneer and as much, if not more, hate.

 

 

Complete Short Stories of Ernest Hemingway

"And what is there to do?"
"Continue, slowly, and wait for luck to change."

(Mr Frazer & Cayetano Ruiz inThe Gambler, the Nun, and the Radio) 

Recently I've begun pacing myself, because there's really nothing to really strive for unless and until my luck changes. If it doesn't, all that remains is to have a wee bit fun now and then while waiting for the final curtain to fall.

 

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The end of the day had always belonged to Nick alone and he never felt right unless he was alone at it.

(Nick Adams in Fathers and Sons) 

I'm not a loner by nature, it's more a case of having been most of my life unhappily lonely because of circumstances, but to properly unwind before turning in I do need to be for a while on my own.

 

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Then there were times when you had to write. Not conscience. Just peristaltic action.

(from On Writing (published subsequently to The First Forty-Nine Stories)) 

 

Usually I don't have enough time to blog nearly as much or often as I would like to, and I miss it. It doesn't matter that nobody reads this blog, it's about the pleasure of putting one's ideas down on paper or making them appear on a laptop screen, which pleasure comes regardless of whether or not anybody else will see them.

 

Alasdair Gray: Lanark

I like advice from anyone, but advice which can't be rejected doesn't deserve the name.

(Duncan Thaw to his painting teacher, Mr. Watt, p 281) 

This is why I never actually did like advice from my parents. They'd gladly advise me on anything ... and then be ostentatiously offended if I in the least diverged from what I was advised to do. It was as if advice, even unsolicited advice, wasn't something to consider, but something to unquestioningly obey, or else be guilty of gross ungratefullness.

 

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Q This spate of information about the fiction you enjoyed suggests a terrible lack of interest in the life around you.
A Not lack of interest but lack of anticipation.

(the author in a sort of FAQ attached to the Kindle version, p 568) 

 

This is why I've always been an avid reader: for most of my life, reading a book promised interesting and/or pleasant time in front of me, while 'real life' didn't.